Potty antics

So the latest and greatest news from the Baker household is that we are starting round #2 with potty training. And oh what a difference this time around!

First let me start off by telling you that with Megan, we got the brilliant idea to potty train her only one month after we brought her baby brother home from the hospital. (Maybe not a good idea in hind sight due to that whole regression thing we were warned about.) She had just turned 2 and we could tell she was ready. Lucky for me, she was still going to day-care while I was home with Matthew. And we had the absolute BEST day care provider EVER!! Whatever new things I started at home, the sitter would continue throughout the day so we didn't miss a beat. Within one week she was good to go (minus night time and the occassional "oops" of course). Well, good to go meaning she had no qualms with peeing in the toilet. Pooping? Well that was an entirely different issue all together. After 3 weeks of her holding it in during the week and then becoming sick on the weekends from the "back up", we finally wised up and put her back into her pull-up when she told us she had to take a dump. She would go hide in a corner, do her business and then we'd clean her up and put her back into her big girl panties. Five months later, she finally figured it all out and life became a little easier. (And cheaper - damn you expensive Pull-Ups!) Yes, I thought potty training with Megan was an ordeal back then. Boy was I wrong!

Enter Matthew! Verbally, he's been much slower than Megan, so I haven't bothered to push him into this. He's had the potty sitting in the bathroom along with the convertible seats for all 3 of the toilets in our house should he decide to forgo the little potty. He picks and chooses when he wants to use the potty and will do either #1 or #2 without much of an issue. But recently he's decided to make things a little more interesting for us.

A few weeks ago I noticed that he was being very quiet. Which as many parents know, is not a good sign. So I went looking for him. I found him in his bathroom, naked from the waist down. There was poop on the floor around the toilet (imagine him sitting down after removing the soiled diaper and scooching on the floor similar to the way dogs scratch their butts) all over the toilet lid, the roll of toilet paper was pulled out and the loose end was hidden somewhere in the toilet.

I quickly made him lay down on the floor (to avoid getting poop anywhere else) and opened the toilet lid. Inside I saw that not only had he dumped the contents of his diaper in there (good job buddy!) but as he tried to wipe himself, he evidently would pull the toilet paper, wipe, pull some more, wipe, pull some more, wipe.......you get the idea. All the while, never tearing off the toilet paper. The toilet was so full I had to fish some of the paper out just so I could flush it for fear that it would over flow!

I then moved on to cleaning up the culprit. There's been enough mention of poop in this entry so I will spare you any further disgusting thoughts by simply ending with this new found knowledge of mine. It's not as easy as one might think to remove feces from underneath a toddlers fingernails.

After a few more incidences of the above, I think he's finally grown tired of this. Now he has decided to attempt peeing while standing up. Well, my little Matt is not the tallest of children, so from the beginning I've taught him to simply "sit and tuck it in" to avoid sprayage. But I guess he has decided he wants to be like Dad and has realized that it's a bit girlie to be doing that technique and has instead been asking to stand up. But he needs about 1/2" - 1" extra inch to have good clearance due to his height. So we improvise...he stands on top of my feet and does his business. (Quite well I might add - this kid has good aim! His future wife will be happy!) This has worked well except, did I mention how independent he is?

Two nights ago, as I'm getting the kids ready for the bath, I walk into my bathroom and Matt is perched on the edge of the toilet, facing backwards, hands on the rim (good reason to keep my toilets sanitized!), with both legs straddling the edge. If you need a better visual, picture a gymnast, suspended in the middle of a jump over the horse. He's creative, that one!

(He got a 10 for form but only a 9.5 for function due to his inability to suspend the pose without wobbling.)

(Oh, and although I'd love to post one, I thought a picture of the above might be better left to your imaginations.)