One Year

February 6, 2008 marks the one year anniversary since Bob passed away. A lot has happened this past year and not a day goes by that something doesn't remind us of why we loved him so much and just how much he is and will continue to be missed like crazy.

Robert resembles Bob from the wispy hairs on his head, to the similar baby pictures from Bob's childhood, down to the little chubby crooked pinky finger.

Matt not only talks about him constantly but continues to act like Grandpa in his carefree, crazy antics.

Every trip to Hamden is a reason for Megan to mention the trips to the convenience store where Grandpa would buy his hard rolls and a treat for her during the time he used to babysit for us.

And those same trips to Hamden always include a drive past the cemetery where he is buried and is cause for a chorus of "Hi Grandpa, hi Mimi, hi Grimpie! We love you and miss you!" to come from the back of the car from both kids. (And most recently, Matt has added a greeting to God in that grouping.)

Everyone in the family has dealt with this loss in different ways. Some moved past that moment in a steady gradual movement and others are continuing to struggle every day, looking for that happy or at least calm place in their lives again. But no matter how we've managed to move on or how far past the sadness we've pulled ourselves, his memories continue to stay with us.

Bob was always willing to lend a helping hand, and the way that he loved his family, his grandkids, the Red Sox and Notre Dame, can not be compared. He may not have been a perfect man or lived a perfect life, but he was about as passionate as they come. If he were here to tell you himself, I'm sure that he would agree that although he wasn't quite done, he managed to live a full life. And I thank my lucky stars every day that he was a part of mine.

Second Skin

-From A Second Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul

My favorite pair of old jeans will never fit me again. I have finally accepted this immutable truth. After nurturing and giving birth to two babies, my body has undergone a metamorphosis. I may have returned to my pre-baby weight, but subtle shifts and expansions have taken place – my own version of continental drift. But that’s okay, because while the jeans no longer button, the life I exchanged for them fits better than they ever did.

For me, this is a barefoot, shorts and T-shirt time of life. I have slipped so easily into young motherhood; it is the most comfortable role that I have ever worn.

I love the feel of this baby on my hip, his soft head a perfect fit under my chin, his tiny hands spayed out like small pink starfish against my arms. I love the way my 8-year-old daughter walks alongside us. On gorgeous spring days, the breeze lifts her wispy ponytail, and we laugh at the way the sunshine makes the baby sniff and squint.

I am constantly reaching out to touch them, the way a seamstress would two lengths of perfect silk, envisioning what might be made from them, yet hesitant to alter them, to lose the weight of the wholeness in my hands.

On those rare mornings when I wake up before they do, I go into their rooms and watch them sleeping, their faces creased and rosy. Finally, they squirm and stretch themselves awake, reaching out for a hug. I gather them up, bury my face in them and breathe deeply. They are like towels just pulled from the dryer, rumbled warm and cottony.

My children curl around me on the sofa in the evening, often falling asleep, limbs limp and soft against me like the folds of a well-worn nightgown. For now, we still adorn each other, and they are content to be clothed in my embrace. I know there will be times that will wear like scratchy wool sweaters and four-inch heels. We will have to try on new looks together, tugging and scrunching, trying to keep the basic fabric intact. By then, we will have woven a complicated tapestry with its own peculiar pattern, its snags and pulls and tears.

But I will not forget this time, of drowsy heads against my shoulder, of footy pajamas and mother-daughter dresses, of small hands clasped in mine. This time fits me. I plan to wear it well.

Little version of Daddy...

I am determined to get a better picture of this little guy. It seems that every photo I take he either has a very determined, puckered lip look or this sad little look of disinterest. But let me tell you, when he sees his Daddy, his face literally lights up. (The only time I can get him to give me a smile remotely close to that is when I'm tickling him and even then it's hit or miss.)

And while his shirt says he's a "little version of daddy" it's mostly that I'm told his current size is the equivalent of Daddy's when he was a baby. However, this child is the spitting image of his grandpa Bob as a baby. Boy do we miss him!

Update - new and improved - now with pictures and of course some ramblings too

I've obviously neglected my duties here in order to keep you informed of our travels along with gratuitous pictures of kids. So consider this my "month of December update".

We started the month out at the annual Yacht Club Christmas Party during which pictures were taken of the kids on Santa's lap. But they really weren't very good so, sorry, no pics of this event. (Honest, there really were pictures taken. I had neglected to charge my camera and even went as far as to borrow the MIL's camera for just this purpose.) Anyhow, Megan and Matt both got to sit on Santa's lap and Robert would have too had he not fallen asleep in my arms. But all three kids came away with some great gifts and had a fun afternoon.

The following weekend, we had a little "freak" snow storm that no one seemed to know about. It began around 3:30 in the afternoon and by the time I left work at 4:30pm, it had created a nice mess. Unfortunately, that mess led to an accident in which I managed to total the Pacifica. And somehow, although I was the third accident in a line of six on that steep hill, I was the only vehicle that was not able to drive away. It made for a long evening, hanging out at a stranger's home (very nice strangers, by the way), waiting for the police to show up and then the tow truck. Which of course Matt was ecstatic about because he got to see "Mater". (The tow truck from the movie Cars.)

Bill swears that I did this just so I could get a new car. I'll have you know that while I'll freely admit that I'm crazy, I'm not stupid and I would never put my kids in harms way on purpose, like we ended up in that evening. I'm sure it will be a long time before he let's me live this down but at least I've blown that theory out of the water. Let's move on, shall we?

For the next two weeks, as if we didn't have enough on our plates already with Robert's Christening and Christmas coming up, we began our hunt for a new car. We settled on a 2005 Honday Odyssey, which I have to admit, I absolutely love. Not only does it ride nice but the storage in this car is just unbelievable! The kids get in/out easily on their own, no more climbing over center consoles or struggling to put seats down so someone can get into the third row. I'm looking forward to our first trip to BJ's in it so I can prove to Bill just how much more room it has for all that bulk shopping we do!

(I just re-read that paragraph and it still amazes me just how much my life has changed that I am actually excited over a mini-van, storage and bulk shopping. Who would have thought?!) (And yes, that is my car in that picture.)

The weekend of December 15th rolled around which was the weekend that we planned to have Robert baptized. Of course a double snow storm was predicted and before the weekend ever rolled around we were scrambling to come up with alternate arrangements for God Parents. As it turned out, only Mom and Dad were in attendance as they were able to make the trip up from PA in between the storms. So while Dad stood as a proxy for the God Father, my MIL stood in for the God Mother.

We joked that if we had waited any longer to have him baptized that he would have been able to walk up and dunk his own head into the water. In reality, he really was the biggest baby there, among a sea of teeny-tiny 3 month olds. Oh well, the sacrament was received without a hitch, and then there was plenty of food back at the house to last us for the next few days due to the low guest attendance rate.

What was that? You want to see pictures of this event too? Yeah...ummmm...still didn't charge my camera.

But my MIL had her camera with her! Of course, she was standing in as a proxy so that meant she couldn't very well take pictures at the same time.

But my Mom was there and had no other duties to perform!! So she took pictures!! Did I mention that she's electronically challenged? No? Well, she is. I also think that she has an undiagnosed electronics phobia. Yes, she's petrified to use strange computers, cameras, DVD and CD players...and the list goes on. This phobia also renders her incapable of utilizing the common sense gene for actions like holding a camera still while snapping pictures. So while she did attempt to take some photos, only one came out (one that I took by the way) as all of the others appeared to have been taken by someone who had a bad case of the caffeine shakes. So when I get around to scanning that one itty bitty, beautiful picture, I promise I'll share it with you. Until then...you're out of luck.

Now, while my parents were in town, we were successful at something and that was building a gingerbread house. Mom patiently helped Megan and Matt, well mostly Megan, but occassionally Matt, decorate a pre-fabricated gingerbread house. (What? Did you think I actually had the time to bake these individual pieces? HA! Nice one!) But guess what? I managed to get pictures of it too! Never mind that they were taken a week later when I finally remember to charge the camera. They were taken just in the knick of time too as the two little devils in the picture were just itching to tear that thing apart. Which they promptly did as soon as I gave them the ok.

So this brings us up to Christmas. I end this post with more pictures and just a quick blurb that Christmas was a huge success. The kids are at such a fantastic age right now that I'm just having a good time watching them 'believe' in the magic. Oh, and their favorite gifts were their Leapsters which I honestly believe have been surgically implanted to their hands.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!

Robert, looking like he's being squished and is about to lose his breakfast...


Chillin' next to his Lightening McQueen CD player - KACHOW!

See? Surgically implanted Leapsters.

Don't be messin' with the exersaucer!

More Bitty Baby clothes (as if she needs more)

Yes, every picture must have the "cheese" or "mouth open wide" pose

Posing with her new big girl bedroom set

And here's the "open wide" pose

Summer weather - Fall fun

We took the kids on an impromptu trip to Lyman Orchards over the weekend. This was my first trip there and I was pretty impressed with the corn maze that they created. In fact, they had copies of the mazes over the past few years and I never realized just how extensive the designs were. This years theme was spider man:

Bill helped them find their way through the maze while I sat in the shade with a sleeping wee-one. (I guess I need to stop calling him that - he's not so "wee" anymore.) From there we wandered over to the hay ride. Although now that I think about it, there was no hay, so I guess, technically, it was just a horse and wagon ride. After that we picked out the perfect pumpkin for carving. Here are the pics from our day.

Hanging out by the duck pond

Entering the lazy man's pumpkin picking patch-heck with wandering a field, just pick from the pile!

The end result